Livadies The Sleeping Sergeant

Wakey, wakey, Elphinstone!

In the Elderberry station, behind the heavy door
There sits a hero of the war, a lion with a roar
But ask him for a file or tell him of a crime
His head is on the blotter, he's sleeping through the time
He fought in Burma's jungles, a Chindit brave and bold
But now he fights the urge to nap before his tea gets cold
Pipe is in the ashtray, smoke is curling high
He's drifting off to dreamland beneath the Yorkshire sky

He's the Sleeping Sergeant, the terror of the town
He'll catch the villains later, right now he's lying down
His eyelids are heavy, his chin is on his chest
Putting law and order to a temporary rest

Snoring for justice, sleeping for the crown
The Sleeping Sergeant is falling down
Down

Get yourself to Holly House, I shouted to his ear
He blinks behind his spectacles: "What's that? Miss Dangerneer?"
He tries to drive the Morris van, he tries to stay alert
But nods off at the steering wheel, face planting in the dirt
Don't mock the Sleeping Sergeant, he's loyal and he's true
He saved me from the fascists, he knew just what to do
Eventually

He's up! He's down! He's on the floor
He's guarding the body, he's guarding the door
Wait, no, he's gone again
Just give him a gin and tonic, old boy
That'll wake him up

He's the Sleeping Sergeant, the terror of the town
He'll catch the villains later, right now he's lying down
His eyelids are heavy, his chin is on his chest
Putting law and order to a temporary rest

He's the Sleeping Sergeant
The terror of the town
He'll catch the villains later
Right now he's lying down
His eyelids are heavy, his chin is on his chest
Putting law and order to a temporary rest

Carry on!
Constable!
Carry on!